Question:
Student infatuation problem. Any ideas?
?
2009-04-29 09:26:11 UTC
I teach in a British upper school (ages 13 - 19). 4 years ago a student in the lowest year wrote me a letter telling me that they were in love with me, but requested no guidance. A few months later they came to me and told me that their crush was over. We have obviously seen each other around the school since, have talked on occasion and are on amiable terms, but never as close as we were before she told me, though of course even then our relationship never reached beyond student/teacher. They are leaving the school for Uni and are now a fully grown adult. Yesterday, the day before their final school day, the student told me, in plain and quite beautiful terms, that they have always loved me. They seem at peace with this knowledge and promised, of their own volition, never to wittingly seek me out or interfere with my life. I feel no fear, or discomfort, only sadness for this young woman who has her whole life ahead of her, only to waste it on a happily married woman. Is there any advice, or guidance I can give to her before she sets out in life? I feel like there is so much more I should say, and this may be my last chance to try and reason with her.
Three answers:
SinisterGrin
2009-04-29 09:45:35 UTC
Based on everything you have written, there is no indication that this student will waste her life. She has made it abundantly clear that she is not going to pursue any type of relationship with you, nor will she interfere with your life in any manner. There does not seem to be any basis for your concern. She has simply admitted her feelings for you, which may well be out of admiration and respect. She is off to university and there is an excellent chance that she will never see you again. This hardly resembles the plight of someone that is wasting her life. It seems she is comfortable with this situation unless there is more to this scenario. I simply do not see any cause for concern.
markykno1
2009-04-29 16:38:29 UTC
u did and sayed the right thing what else can u do
N. in ATL
2009-04-29 16:32:35 UTC
Your decision and action is fine, you did good.


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